Rock Bottom
by cammybellash
Summary: Sidney Crosby Fan Fic. This is my first ever story, I know it's not perfect but I'm trying here!
1. Chapter 1

It was perfect. It may of just been a temporary escape from my otherwise Hell hole of a life, but it was enough to leave me crumpling like a freshly baked pastry for longer than expected. My life seemed to be falling apart, not in the usual hyperbole of a teenage life kind of way. It really was. You know those days, where literally every possible little thing that could possibly go wrong... Like down to the smallest details of things that usually wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but after this motherload of overall crap has been dumped on you- This small insignificant thing happening is enough to push you over the edge? Well, welcome to the past year of my life.

I had finally come to the point where, I had nothing left. I wasn't even the religious type, but I was praying for something good... Some glimmer of hope to proof to me that my life wasn't a cycle of one tragedy after another. Well, in any case... Someone out there answered my pleads. This is the story of how I got up from Rock Bottom.

Muffled vibrations and a distant sounding _beeping_ was ringing in my ears, eventually causing me to grunt and rolling over lazily digging through the scrambled mess of the blankets for my cellphone grumpily smashing my fingers against the end button silencing the rocus. I blinked sleepily lying in the silence, wracking my brain to remember the previous night but it seemed to just be a blanked blur. I shuddered to myself pulling the blanket around my shoulder tightly as I rolled back onto my side. I knew in my subconcious the people I hung out with, the stuff I was doing, it was all wrong. This wasn't how I wanted my life to be. This wasn't what I had planned for myself.

Little was I aware yet, but this night. What happened this night, this was the last straw. This was the day I knew I needed the stop the life I was living.

All of a sudden it came back to me. It all came back to her in a disgusting horrifying blur. It hit me like a bag of bricks and I felt a sinking feeling growing the pit of my stomach. It all began at Ryan, my boyfriends house early the previous night. Where most of my nights started... I showed up not long after six thirty at his pathetic excuse of an apartment. He shared it with his best friend Darren, he was one of those guys you see walking towards you on the sidewalk and itch to cross the road or just stop in your tracks and turn the other way. He was a scumbag, but althought I'd never admit it then Ryan was too. They had one beaten up looking couch, the floor was dirty and usually scattered with empty alcohol bottoms, dirt, and whatever else you could imagine. It was a one bedroom, Darren used the living room as his bedroom... Although it usually also doubled as a dining room, kitchen and once bathroom. I banged loudly on the door since I could hear music blaring on the inside, it always shocked me they never had noise complaints... But I guessed, glancing around at the grunginess of the building in general, their neighbours were probably similar to them. After a few seconds I could hear the sound of muffled stumbling coming towards the door followed by the clink of the locks, then the door swung up. Darren leaned against the door, in a dirty looking wife beater and a pair of scuffed up jeans with a grimace on his face that gave me chills. He was tall, much taller than me and muscular with shaggy brown hair that fell in front of his face which he had a tendency of tucking behind his right ear. There was something just not right about his face, he just had one of those faces that even when he was smiling or being friendly -which wasn't frequent- it frightened you to your very core. You just couldn't trust him, but you wouldn't want him to know you were scared of him... I always felt he was like a dog, could smell when you were afraid and that excited him.

I felt his eyes scanning up and down my body, and he licked his lips starring me right in the eyes. I rolled my eyes, trying to keep up my "tough" attitude as I pushed by him "Where's Ryan?" I asked frowning a bit when I noticed he wasn't sitting in his usual spot on the couch either ripping on a bong, smoking a dart or snorting a few lines. I heard the door shut behind me "Still at work for another half hour." Darren almost purred as I could feel his presence coming closer behind me. I could feel my heart racing, and I tried to catch my breath so he wouldn't sense my fear. He laughed and put his hands on my shoulders giving them a quick squeeze before sliding past me and plopping down on the couch... "Relaaaax Scots, I don't bite." He winked before slid forward chopping up a line of white crystals, then glanced up at me out of the corner of his eye. "Grab a seat eh, we'll get the party started before Ry shows up."

I hesitated for a moment before I strutted past him and slid down next to him, leaving about 6inches between us just to be safe. Within the next half hour I did more drugs and Darren kept refilling me shots to help, as he said "Losen up." The more I consumed the easier it got to feel comfortable with Darren, as we laughed together and I found myself leaning against his shoulder- more to keep myself up than anything. I greeted Ryan with a sloppy kiss and jumping into his arms, pushing him against the wall from my weight. After that was when the rest of the night seemed to turn into a blur, I spent most of the night wrapped around Ryan's hip and his hand was slipped into my back pocket giving a few squeezes every now and then. More and more people were showing up the more the sun drooped beneath the horizen. Even under the influence to the extreme I still felt unsafe, I could feel the wandering eyes of creepy guys following me around. I knew nothing would happen as long as I was with Ryan since he had a repuation as one of those guys you wouldn't want to mess with, and he was protective as hell of me... But I still had that nagging feeling that something bad was about to happen, I couldn't shake it.

After who knows how long, I noticed Ryan nodding to a guy with long greasy blonde hair in the corner then the guy slipped out the door. Ryan leaned over to my ear "I'll be back in a minute babe." he purred in my ear squeezing in my back pocket before beginnging to slip his hand out. I clung onto him looking up into his eyes with a pleading look, "Don't leave..." I whispered slurring my words. He laughed and kissed me hard on the lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth his hand rested on the low of my back pushing me hard against his chest, I could tell so he could simply just feel my breasts against him. "I'll be just a minute, and when I come back-" He whispered breaking apart from my lips. "We can have our own party." He said with a wink then jogged over to the door looking back at me before stepping out and shrugged, "Someone has to pay the bills! I'll be back in a minute!"

As soon as I heard the door close I felt like fresh meat on sale, I hated Ryan's friends. They were all moral lacking creeps, who would do anything to get what they want. They put themselves before anybody else. I slipped out of the room and made my way speedily down the hall to Ryan's room- the only place I felt safe right now. His room was covered with dirty clothes, scattered all over the floor. I kicked my way through the clothes and plopped down on his bed resting my head in my hands. After a couple minutes I heard the door creak open, and my head shot up meeting eyes with Darren. I bolted to my feet, which clearly was not a wise idea considering the amount of drugs and alcohol I had already consumed throughout the night I nearly topelled right over only to be caught by Darren's large arms. I heard him chuckle to himself as he helped me to my feet, "Easy, I was just coming to check on ya... The guys out there are creeps and I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He said as I dropped back down on Ry's bed feeling the world spinning around me, I heard Darren kick the door shut before sliding down beside me watching me. "Rough night?" He teased, I could tell I was probably green and looked like a mess. "Look, I know we've never been the best of friends... And I just wanna make peace," He muttered, I could hear him pouring two shot glasses... I hadn't even noticed he brought a bottle in, I could barely raise my head as I squeezed my eyes shut to make the spinning stop. "Think you got it in you for one more peace-making drink?" he said holding a glass out to me with the same sneaky grin across his face. I lifted my head up to look at him before grabbing the glass out of his hand nodding, "Friendship." I slurred before clinking his glass and throwing it back, feeling it sting down my throat.

I knew right away something was wrong, I could feel my fingertips tingling- like a numbing sension, and it grew up throughtout my arms, engrossing my whole body. I looked up at him with fearful eyes, trying to say something but I couldn't find my voice. He just stared at me, grinning before putting a finger to his lip "Shhh" he whispered lying me down. I was screaming in my head, I could feel the darkness creeping into my vision- trying desperatly to keep my self concious. I could feel him sucking on my neck, one hand working on my chest... The other making it's way down to fumble with the buttons of my jeans, before the darkness consumed me entirely.

I could feel myself shuddering uncontrollably as I thought back to everything that happened. I looked down at what I was wearing now, one of Ry's giant sweaters... No pants and I could feel my underwear was on like someone had roughly yanked it up. My eyes wandered around the mess of Ryan's room, sunlight was peeking through the window, and I could feel him breathing heavily still asleep beside me. Tears were welling up in my eyes, I sprung up and shoke him awake. "Babe, babe!" I pleaded until his eyes opened sleepily. "Fuck Scot..." he groaned reaching his hand over to his beside table to grab the alarm clock that read 9:45AM "What the fuck, it's so fuckin' early what is it..." He said grumpily rubbing his eyes, then looking at me. I could tell as soon as he saw my eyess welling up he knew right away, something was up. He sat up putting both hand on my cheeks, concern written all over his face. "What, what is it." He said, his cute sleepy voice gone... He was all seriousness now. I tried to catch my breath and keep from tearing up as I explained what happened, I could hear my voice cracking as I spoke. I didn't even get a chance to finish completely before Ryan was on his feet in the living room, I could hear him screaming followed by Darren's screams. Then things starting to break and thumps and yells before the door slammed and silence echoed through the apartment. I pulled my knees up to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut, wanting it to end, I just wanted it all to end. This isn't the life I wanted, this isn't what I wanted to do with my life fuck. After a few moments of silence Ryan came back into the room, he had a gash on his forehead that was bleeding down the side of his face... As well as blood seeping out of his nose. I sprung to me feet, but he put his hand up before I could say anything "I'm fine, you should see him." He teased, or at least I hoped he was teasing before he pulled me into his chest holding me tightly as I cried softly into his shoulders.

You know those moments, where everything in your life changes. That moment where you realize you're better than you thought you were. Not in the cocky way, in the way that you acknowledge what you deserve. Maybe you haven't had this moment yet, but when you do... You'll know. It's the moment that you'll remember for the rest of your life, it's the moment that defines the growth in a person. The moment that you begin to become the person you're going to be.

That was mine.

Standing there, in the arms of the man I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, in a beaten down apartment... Hungover, tears streaming down my face. I knew, I knew I was going to have to change my lifestyle. I needed something positive, and being here in this life wasn't going to bring me the positivity and happy life I longed for.

I told Ry I needed to just go home and think, he understood. He wasn't a bad guy, infact I really wished we could remain friend after I ended it with him... But I knew that wouldn't work. I pulled on my jeans and pulled my hair up into a messy bun, I spent the next few minutes digging through Ry's bed for my phone and car keys and kicking through the mess of clothes on the floor for my boots then headed to the door.

"Scot..." I heard Ry's voice from behind me, and I turned to face him as he shuffled over to me. Something in his voice made my heart sink, like he had read my mind. The look on his face and the broken-ness of his voice was heart breaking. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault. If I had been here, been here to take care of you like a real boyfriend should... If I had never involved you in my dangerous fucking life, exposing you to all these creeps and assholes...This would have never happened. Fuck I'm sorry, you could do so much fucking better and I just-" I put my hand over his mouth silencing him, I couldn't take anymore. "Ry, stop. Please. You're an amazing boyfriend, I couldn't ask for anything better. Please don't blame yourself please." I pleaded, wiping away a droplet of blood that was hanging onto his eyebrow. It broke my heart to say those words, not because they were a lie... Because they were true. It was going to kill me to end it with him, I loved him so much. But I needed to do this, for myself. I needed to do what was right for me.

I could tell that helped cuz a flicker of hopefulness crossed his eyes. "I love you Scotty." he whispered leaning over kissing my lips, more passionately then he ever had before. Everything about him right now was more passionate and honest then it had ever been before. God he was killing me. I broke away looking up into his eyes, "I love you too." I whispered, hearing my voice crack... Begging myself not to cry now. He could hear it in my voice, and he stroked my cheek. "I'm always here for you, I will do whatever I can to take care of you okay? Come over later if you want, or I'll come to you. Just call me or text me when your home safe." He said before kissing me on my forehead. I nodded then quickly stepped out the door pulling it shut behind me. I exhaled slowly, feeling my heartbeat racing.

When I got home I texted Ry,"Home xo" Then dropped down onto my couch staring up at the ceiling. I thought that being home in my apartment would make me feel safer, but it didn't. I wanted out, I wanted to be doing something. I didn't want to just lie around and mope. I grabbed my phone again, scrolling through my contacts stopping at my brother. I bit my lip, he was the person I wanted to see right now I decided so I clicked the Call button and held it up to my ears waiting for him to answer.

"Is this a joke? My baby sister alive and capable to make phone calls before noon?" I laughed glancing over at the time... 10:34AM, it was early for me on a Saturday. "Stranger things have happened!" I said smiling a bit, "What are you doing today? I need some quality time with my brother." I asked hopeful he was free. "Well... I was thinking about heading up to the rink around 12, whatdya say some pick me up around 11:30 and I'll even treat you to coffee before I kick your ass at some puck?" I felt my lips pulling into an uncontrollable smile, being with him always made me feel better and ever since I'd been dating Ryan I had mostly devoted all my time to being with him, I'd lost contact with a lot of my family. "Perfect, see you then." I said before clicking End.

I went and had a quick shower, trying to wash away the feeling of absolute disgust and shame. I popped a few advils, chugging a whole waterbottle of water as I stood infront of the bathroom mirror doing the best I could with makeup. I towel dried my hair before pulling on a pair of jeans a cozy black sweater. I threw my goalie gear into my bag, then checked the time... 11:13. I grabbed a toque, pair of mitts, my phone, car keys, hockey bag and pulled on my boots as I headed out the door. Playing hockey was something I loved doing more than anything, another thing I had given up once I started dating Ryan though. It made me feel alive, forget about everything else. I loved it.

Luckily I lived only about 15minutes away from my brother and I pulled up right at 11:31, he was already standing outside and threw his bag in the back seat then jumped in with a big grin on his face. "Long time no see." He teased ruffling my hair a bit. I rolled my eyes pulling out of the parking lot. "Yeah, I know... It's been awhile. I'm sorry about that, I've been preoccupied." I said glancing over at him, I saw him cock an eyebrow. "That sounded pretty sincere... So how is the boyfriend anyways?" I chewed a bit on the inside of my cheek, just thinking about Ryan my my insides toss around still. "To be honest, I'm thinking about breaking up with him. He's just... Not what I think I want in life." I said with a shrug. I could see Declan nodding his head in approval beside me, "I think that's probably the smartest thing you've ever said." He said with an encouraging smile, "You know I'm here for you if you ever need anything though right..." He said suddenly sounding more serious than I'd ever heard him sound before in my life. I nodded, "Don't worry I know." Luckily his apartment was a short drive to the rink, and I pulled into the parking lot not long after that glad to end the conversation. After that the topic was dropped and we spent the next little while teasing and pushing eachother around like we usually do as we walked in to the benches and began to lace up. The rink was fairly empty, but that's why we always went to this one... It was a decent sized rink, but the Arena itself was pretty small so not a lot of people went to it ever since the new fancy big one was built not far down the street.

I watched a few of the younger boys horsing around, shooting at the empty net on one end. The other end was an older boy, probably early 20's if that... Practising on the net on the other side alone. I couldn't keep my eyes at him, he was like magic on ice and I'd never seen someone with such skilled hands. It was magical, that's really the only way to describe it. Declan was already laced up and on the ice skating circles around the younger boys like he was there age. It made me smile abit, he was a child at heart... Clearly they had all played together before, or maybe he had coached them in his temporary time as a Peewee League coach. "Hey Scot hurry up we need a goalie, go grab the other bag of pucks!" He yelled at me before drilling one of the boys into the boards. I raised my hand in acknowledgement, "Gimme a few minute to warm up first eh, haven't been on ice in awhile." I laughed before jogging into the locker room grabbing a bag of pucks out of the lockers and sliding them across the ice to him when I stepped on.

It really had been awhile since I'd been on ice, I really needed to stretch and do some skating around. Skated around abit on my own warming up my legs, but my eyes just kept wandering back to the guy on the other end. I just couldn't shake that there was something about him. After awhile I decided to bite the bullet and go in net for the first time in about a year, surprisingly I wasn't doing as bad as I expected I would have after so long a time off ice. After a while I slid my mask off with a concieted smile "I'm sorry Declan dearest, but I'm still waiting for you too... What were your words again, 'kick my ass'?" I said cocking an eyebrow at him, since he had still yet to score. "Shut up, I liked it better without a goalie." He said grumpily as I laughed to myself pushing over the side boards dropping my mitts and mask over into my bag. I leaned on my stick watching the boys play, not noticing the guy from the other end skating over the boards near me.

"Haven't seen you around here before." He said, startling me abit. He as leaning over the boards too grabbing a green Gatorade bottle out of his bag, his dreamy chocolate brown eyes flickering up into mine causing my heart to stop. "Brothers?" He asked nodding towards the boys who now had Declan pinned to the ground and wrestling around. I grined a bit, "Only one... The big one." I laughed, "Believe it or not I used to come here just about every day of the week until a year ago. First time back since then." I shrugged.

He smiled a bit watching the boys wrestling around on the ice, "Ahh, I see... I only just moved here about a year ago which is when I started coming here- Guess we just missed eachother." His voice made me melt, I wondered if he could literally hear my heart pounding through my chest. "I'm Sidney." He said pulling off a mit and extending a hand to me with a smile that literally could have killed me, I could barely heard over my heart pounding. "Scotty," I said extending my hand to his, thankful it was cold in here or my hand would have probably been dripping in sweat.

I had never felt this way before, I felt like he could see right through me with those shimmering chocolate brown eyes. It was like he was looking right into my soul, my heart skipped a beat upon contact with the soft skin of his hand. It wasn't rough and grungy like Ryan's... It was warm, despite the coolness of the arena. He smiled peering into my eyes, "Pleasure to meet you." He said politely as our hands drifted apart, I felt a small cringe of sadness in the pit of my stomach- missing the feeling of his touch. He leaned back against the boards beside me, smiling a bit to himself watching the boys horsing around with Declan still. My eyes flickered back and forth between them and this stranger, before I cleared my throat and spoke "So, what brings you here?" I questioned curiously quirking an eyebrow, "I mean most people don't come to an arena alone for at least an hour unless training or... ?" I trailed off, watching the corner of his mouth twitch into a smile before he licked his lips and shrugged. "You're observant eh?" He smiled turning to look me in the eyes, I returned the smile shrugging. "Well yes, as a matter of fact I am training... I dunno, I guess I just take my hockey life seriously." He said than cleared his throat noticeably changing the subject. "So Scotty, what's _your_ story? You said you used to come here a lot... What made you stop?" He turned so he was leaning against the boards facing me, being able to take in everything about him just a few inches away from me... Driving my crazy. I had to keep reminding myself to keep my breathing even. I licked my lips and shrugged again, "Life happened. Things got hectic I guess, I never had the time..." I trailed off, pulling my eyes from him to drift lovingly around the arena. "I regret not being able to be here everyday." I said quietly. "Yeah, I wish you had been able to be here too." He said causing my head to snap back so my eyes were locked into his, the way he stared at me made me feel like I was the most precious thing on Earth. I could feel my cheeks heating up and my mouth was opened a bit, but sadly the moment was ruined by the sound of skates skidding up beside me.

"Hey Scot! Umm, I told the boys if they win I'd buy them lunch... But I forgot my wallet at home... So... How do you feel about IOU's?" Declan said excitedly as he slid up to me, the other boys already scrambling to change into their winter boots, I pulled my eyes from Sidney's to look apparently angrily at Declan. His eyes widened in an expression of apparent shame and embarrasment as he flickered looking back and forth between Sidney and I the muttered, "Erm sorry to interrupt..." As he scratched the back of his head, "It's fine." I said dismissively as he jumped over the boards and began pulling is own skates off, the boys already standing impaitently waiting. "Just take the boys and wait in the car... I'll be out in the minute." He smiiled appreciatively at me before jumping up, and giving me one last nod of approval and scuttled the boys out of the arena into the parking lot. Leaving Sidney and I alone in the arena.

I turned so I was facing Sidney again, he already had his eyes on me. I gave a half hearted smile, "I guess, this is goodbye..." I said trying to hide my sadness, as I hoped up onto the boards about to swing my legs over but he put his hands on my leg stopping me, gently but still firmly. I looked up into his eyes, they looked eager. "I- I hope this isn't too forward..." He began now only a few inches from me, causing my heart rate to quicken to a rapid speed- I thought it was going to explode. "But I don't, I don't want this to be goodbye." He said, his voice was low so only I could hear. Even though there was no one else around, it was like his words were only for me. No one else in the world would ever hear what he was saying but myself. Like they were made for me. Somehow, I don't know how but I managed to find my voice as I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. "I don't either..." I said gazing into his eyes, I never wanted to leave here. This moment. It felt like the world had stopped spinning, nothing else matter but the connection between him and I right now. This was the greatest high of all. "If I give you my number, will you call me?" I managed to say, my voice sounding my stronger and confident than I felt. I watched his eyes brighten, his mouth twitching as he tried to hide his smile. "Does this mean, I can see you again- soon?" He asked, masking the excitment in his eyes wonderously, but I could feel it. "As soon as you call me." I said meering the smile placing my hand delicately on his own on my lap squeezing it gently, sending sparks through out my whole body before I swung my legs over the boards.

I sat on the bench unlacing my skates, as he leaned over the boards watching me... I could feel his eyes burning holes into my head but I tried to remain cool as I placed my gear in my bag. I pulled my boots and toque back on and stood up, swinging my bag over my shoulder and turned so I was facing him. He towered over me now as his skates addd a few extra inches to his height. I ripped a piece of the calendar that was pinned against the wall behind me off, and used the pen that was attached to it to scribble my number down. I turned and extended it out to him, without containing my huge smile. He took it, not taking his eyes from me. My cheeks flushed, and I licked my lips again, "Well I guess I should get going... See you soon?" I asked hopefully. "Definitely." He said in a soothing voice, I nodded and turned beginning to head out "Goodbye, Sidney." I said beaming at him before turning the corner to the parking lot. "Goodbye bye Scot."


	2. Chapter 2

My heart was still raising and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I exited the arena I heard a loud honking from the car as Declan gave waved impatiently at me. I jogged over and slid into the driver's seat throwing my bag in the backseat hearing the boys groan as they pushed it down behind my seat. Apparently the giddy smile was noticeable because Declan nudged me as I drove to the nearest Mcdonalds. "Who was that?" He asked in a low voice for only myself to hear as the three boys chattered loudly away in the backseat. I just shrugged it off, causing him to raise an eyebrow curiously but leaned back in his seat none the less- dropping the subject... For now. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket but I didn't check it until we had pulled into the parking lot at Mcdonalds.

The boys -whom reminded me slightly of Alvin Simon and Theodore, they were all loud and super high maintenance… The "leader" of the three boys, Conor, was quite a bit shorter than me, with messy dirty blonde hair that stuck out in several different directions. He seemed to be the most outgoing of the boys, and a little arrogant in a loveable way. Next was Brandon, he was taller with glasses and short tidy brown hair. He was quieter than the other two, seemed more mature for his age. He always had a kind of cheeky grin on his face and tried his best to keep the other boys in line I noticed. Last was little Chris, he was a little taller than Conor and had curly blond locks and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen! He had chubby cheeks and a loud belly laugh that you couldn't help but laugh a long with. He seemed to just follow along with what the other boys were doing. The way they got along with my brother made me smile because I reminded me of how Declan and I would play fight and tease each other growing up. All I could see now though was Declan as a father, God what a great father he'll make someday. - And Declan were already half way to the door before I had even locked the car. I rolled my eyes pulling my phone out of my back pocket and saw *2 New Messages* flashing. I clicked on it as I trailed lazily behind the boys, the first one to catch my eye was "Ry3: hey babe how are you feeling?" it caused my stomach to lurch a bit and a lump was growing in my throat. So far my heart had only seemed to filled with thoughts of Sidney… Now all I could think about was the previous night in one big black blur causing me to shake excessively. Apparently how I felt was written across my face because my eyes darted up to be met by Declan's concerned ones as he stood holding the door open for me a few feet ahead. I watched his brows burrow into his concerned face I knew too well. "Scot…?" He said cautiously, "What is it?" Miraculously I found my voice and put on my best fake smile and shook my head scooting passed him. "Nothing, sorry day-dreaming I'm alright." I said dismissively.

After paying for the boys meals we found a seat in a four seater booth, Declan and myself sitting comfortably beside each other while the chipmunks (as I had made a mental note to refer to them as now) were al squished together across from us.

I pulled out my phone again sending a quick reply to Ryan, "I'm fine." I knew it sounded heartless and angry, but I was going to try and… Well ease him into the breakup which I knew was fast coming. I was trying to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to think about how hard it would be.

I sighed, exiting his message screen forgetting about the other message until I saw *1 New Message* still blinking. I cocked one eyebrow curiously as I clicked on it, from an unsaved number. "Hey stranger, hope I'm not texting you too soon… It's Sidney. J I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to coffee or maybe dinner sometime this week?" I could feel my heart jump again, and my cheeks flushed a bit. I quickly sent back. "Long time no talk hmm? ;) How about dinner, Tuesday night? Luminesce at 7?" I sat back into the cushioned seat tapping my fingers along the table anxiously. This seemed like a dream, was this really happening? Do guys like this really exist? All I could think was this must be some kind of cruel joke that life was playing on me. This seemed like the script of a perfect Romantic movie, where everything seemed to just fall perfectly into pieces. The butterflies of excitement were fluttering around in my stomach as I daydreamed before feeling my phone buzz on the table in front of me again.

I eagerly grabbed it and slid to the *1 New Message* and felt my heart sink instantly.

"Ry3: Ok, wanna come over tomorrow? xx" My heart sank into my stomach realizing of course, it was too good to be true. Although I knew I was going to break up with Ryan- I hadn't yet… and I just made a date with another guy. Even though the relationship was coming to the end, I couldn't help the guilty twinge in my heart. I decided for now it was best to just ignore him, closing the screen, but instantly I felt vibrations in my hand and click on the newest message. "Sid: Sounds good to me, see you then. It's on me ;)" I smiled to myself, the guilty twinge was still there but it was slightly bandaged by the comfort and excitement of my new found infatuation.

"See you then J" I typed back, grinning to myself. The boys had finished their meals and were laughing by the garbage bin as they threw out their garbage and began to head to the door. I stood up slipping my phone in my back pocket, stopped by a hand gripping my wrist. I turned to find Declan's eyes meeting mine, the concerned look still wiped across his face. I smiled back at him reassuringly patting him on the shoulder "Don't worry," I said before he had a chance to open his mouth. "It alright- _I'm_ alright." He didn't look completely convinced, but he looked a little less concerned now from my reassurance. He nodded, dropping the subject- for now… Then we headed to car together to meet the boys who were already waiting outside my car impatiently calling out to us, pulling at the locked door handles.

I spent the next few days pushing everything that had to do with Ryan and …what happened to the back of my brain. I know it probably wasn't healthy in the long run, but it temporarily made me feel better. I spent any spare time I had. –which wasn't a lot because I was jam packing my days with as many shifts at work as they'd let me– At the rink or at the gym. I was never the kind of girl to wallow, or want to burden someone else with my own issues. I pushed them to a dark place in the back of my head and locked them away… Like a ticking time bomb, my thoughts boiled in my subconscious just waiting for the appropriate moment to erupt. On some level, I knew I what I was doing to myself wasn't healthy. Maybe even on some level, I wanted to reach out… Spill my guts out to someone. Breakdown. Cry my heart out until my soul was emptied. But I wouldn't. Not now at least.

Finally, Tuesday had come. I awoke with a cheeky grin from ear to ear. I rolled out of bed humming to myself as I made my way into my tiny –but, alas still cozy despite its size, kitchen to brew myself a pot of coffee to kick start my day. Sun light was peeking through my patio window, lighting my home with the soft orange glow of morning. I noticed my phone flashing on the counter where it was plugged into a socket in the wall, causing that twinge of guilt to churn in my stomach again.

Ryan had been texting and calling me excessively the last few days, but I hadn't answered. I thought it would help ease him into what was coming, not taking him completely by surprise… But it didn't make it any easier. I grabbed my phone to check and see what he was saying now.

*5 New Messages. 3 Missed Calls* I exhaled as I cleared the calls, all from Ryan. All from since I plugged it in last night before bed. Next, were the messages. Those were the hardest to read. I clicked the first one.

"Ry3: Scot, baby plz im really woried bout u. is everything ok? Babe answer me." Next message.

"Ry3: Fuck scot just answer my calls I want to be with u plz baby I love you ok? Xoxo" Next…

"Ry3: Sciot what thE hehll I needdd u rite nowwww baby plzzzzzz I need to hear ur voice" I felt a crease forming between my eyebrows, I could practically smell the alcohol through the messages.

"Ry3: Scot, I'm on my way over. I need to make sure you're okay… I'll be there at 10 xo" I spewed out the bit of coffee I had just been drinking- my eyes darting to the clock- 9:55AM… I cursed under my breath running my fingers through my hair in frustration. There was nothing I could do but wait now, he had his own key. My heart rate picked up, not in the same way as they did when I thought about Sidney. In an anxious uncomfortable way. My mind was racing, I couldn't do it now. I just, I wasn't ready. I was just going to have to make it clear I wanted to be alone and get him to leave as quickly as possible. I didn't want to even be near him right now.

I walked over to the patio and rested my head against the cool glass and closed my eyes trying to organize my thoughts. Before I had time to clear my thoughts I felt hands snake around my waist and a head nuzzle into the crook of my neck. I shuddered at the touch, partially from the fact I had been too engrossed in my own thoughts to hear Ry creep up silently behind me… Mostly from the fact of feeling his hands holding my waist under my shirt softly planting kisses on my neck, made feel weak. Vulnerable. I wasn't ready to be touched; I didn't know if I ever wanted to be touched again. I just wanted to wrap myself up. In a cocoon, hidden away from the world and everything dark and evil in it. Flashbacks of Darren were creeping from that dark place into my mind, causing my heart rate to quicken again. I wanted to scream, push him off me, run away. But I felt almost paralyzed. Stuck here in the position with him forever, my own personal hell.

"Mmm I've missed your smell…" He purred into my ear, sending chills down my back. No, not the good kind… "And the way you feel…" He slipped one hand further under my shirt, rubbing up the side of my stomach while the other danced dangerously along the waist band of my sweats. "And… The way you taste." Sucking roughly on the crook of my neck. Not gently or romantically. Not even with any sort of passion or love. Like an animal. He slipped his hand down over my sweat pants gripping my heat roughly, finally pushing my over my limits. Breaking me out of my paralyzed state.

I spun around and pushed him backwards a few feet, clearly taking him by surprise. "What the fuck Scot!" He hissed angrily, "I want to be alone." I said quietly avoiding looking up into his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair angrily; I could feel his frustration bubbling up and was beginning to feel fearful for myself. I knew he'd never want to intentionally hurt me, but I'd seen what happens when he loses his cool more than once. "You've been alone long enough Scot…" He growled, "You need to fucking socialize and fucking _do_ STUFF." Beginning to raise his voice taking a half step closer to me, I kept my arms locked on the floor in the distance. "Ry, please. Just… Go." I whispered, half pleading but keeping that masked by a strong voice. He was breathing harder now stepping closer to me again, "You know I have fucking needs…" He began causing my heart to drop to my stomach and my body to tense up again, begging for that cocoon to be around me now. Keeping me save. "Fucking look at me Scot _FUCK._" He said roughly grabbing my face and jerking it towards him so I was staring into his dark eyes. Until recently, I used to find his eyes alluring and sexy usually. But now all I could see was dark lust filled holes.

I pushed his hands away, suddenly filled with a rush of confidence. "Leave Ryan!" My voice sounded much more confident and strong than I felt. What happened next happened in a haze, all I remember is just sitting on the floor my back against the glass patio door. My hands gripping over my right temple and eye which was now stringing like it was being stung like a thousand little wasps were stinging me at once at the same time.

Tears were falling from my eyes like little waterfalls, that didn't seem like they would ever halt. I could hear Ryan cursing and fidgeting trying to decide what to do before mumbling something about "I have to go… I'm sorry Scot.. "Then something else I couldn't understand before I heard my apartment door slam. Leaving me in a chilling silence that filled my empty apartment in an eerie way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long to upload! This ones shorter than the others buuuuuut I'm going to post another one tonight :$ Hehehe I hope someone's reading this….. Or likes it at all! Hahaha**

The silence echoed in my ears. I could feel my heart banging in my chest, a single tear rolled down my cheek and off my chin. My whole body was shaking; I squeezed my eyes shut like I was trying to pull myself out of this world. I wanted it all to end; no I didn't want to kill myself. I just wanted this pain, this hurt, all of it to end. I could literally feel a knot in my stomach, not similar to the one I had when I first laid my eyes on Sidney… Not the knot you get when you're nervous, or feeling guilty. The one you get alone at night when you're lying in bed thinking back to something you've done or something that's happened. Something you just want to forget but your brain won't let you.

After what seemed like forever I rose to my feet feeling my knees shaking as I stood. I inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, trying to get my head on straight. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to calm myself down- I didn't want to cry. I never allowed myself to cry, I had trained myself not too. I wasn't quite sure why, I just always felt so uncomfortable shedding tears… It never made me feel better. It usually just made me more aware of what was upsetting me…

All of a sudden I remembered I still had one unread text message, I shuffled over to my phone and slid the 1 unread message open.

"Sid: Looking forward to seeing you tonight, hope you haven't forgotten about it? ;)"

I don't know how he had this effect on me. Even after everything that has just happened, he still managed to make my lips twitch into a smile like a blushing little school girl. Everything else was just blacked out like I was floating on a cloud. My stomach did a mini back flip as my fingers shakily texted back.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, see you soon "

I glanced up at the clock, 1:16PM… I had a few hours to still get ready. My heart sunk a little bit, I just wanted to be with him more than ever right now. These feelings that I couldn't push away were amazing me, I barely knew this boy and all I wanted in the world right now was to curl up next to him. Feel his hard chest against me and his strong arms around me as I listened to his heartbeat. Just thinking about him made me feel at home- safe.

I ran my hands through my hair, pulling gently on the roots. Like I was trying to pull these thoughts out. I had a brick wall around my heart, and I didn't want to let it down… Especially not to someone I barely knew yet. I decided I needed to get out of my apartment and not think about Ryan, I went into my bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and plain navy blue t-shirt and headed into the bathroom.

I cursed under my breath and leaned over the sink looking at my eye which was a bit swollen with a hint of purple-blueish already beginning to appear. I pulled on my clothes and applied a heavy coat of coverup around my eye doing the best I could to conceal it. It wasn't perfect it but it'd do the job for now. I just prayed it wouldn't get worse by tonight.

I headed to the door grabbing my jacket, mitts, and purse then pulled on my boots deciding to run a few errands to keep myself busy.

I got back home around 5:36PM. I'd spent most of my time picking up some grocery's, shopping for a birthday present for Declan whose birthday was coming up and I found a nice dress to wear tonight with Sidney since I had received a text from him while I was out saying to dress up because he had the whole evening planned.

I unloaded my groceries and placed Declan's present at the top of my closet- which was a very exquisite looking Michael Kors watch and a vintage Bobby Orr jersey. Then I headed to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I blow dryed my hair in front of the mirror, frowning at my reflection. The bruise hadn't gotten any better; it had actually gotten quite a bit worse. It was now a darker purple/blue… Thankful it wasn't too swollen but the bruise was very defined.

I pulled on a nice matching pair of bra and underwear. I wasn't expecting him to see them of course, but hey… Wearing nice underwear always makes you feel good even if you're the only one to see them. I then pulled my dress on over top and admired it in the mirror. I wasn't really a "dressy" person per say, but I really enjoyed how this one looked on me. It was a luscious red, falling about mid-thigh. It was well fitted but not in a provocative way, it had a sweetheart like neckline and two finger width straps that crossed in a X on the back. It was classy looking I loved how it looked. It was the first time I felt pretty in a while. I put on a pair of diamond earrings my mother had given me, matched with a sparkly ring on each index finger and a silver bracelet Declan gave me for my birthday.

Now it was time to do my hair. I stared at my long chocolate brown locks in the mirror for a few minutes hesitantly, not really sure what to do. I wasn't good with girly things like hair or makeup, so I decided on the simple look and pulled out my hair curler and gave my hair just a few loose curls and just leaving it at that. Then makeup I decided not to do anything too special, I didn't want to go overboard. I put a huge glob of cover-up around my eye trying as best as I could to make it look not as bad as it was. I wasn't as successful as I'd like, but I did successfully cover it up a lot. Then topped it off with a light shade of brown eye shadow- that really made my brown eyes pop out more- and mascara.

I stepped back and took in the whole image. I was happy with myself; I never got to doll up or feel pretty, so I felt really good right now. Other than the purple-blue bruising around my eye. I shook my head a bit so my bangs fell forward covering the worst part. I nodded at myself, then dolloped a layer of pink lip gloss over my lips and did an imaginary gun shooting at myself in the mirror then turned and headed back into my room.

I grabbed a pair of just plain black heels and slipped them on, wobbling a bit. It had been awhile since I'd worn heels apparently... Then I dug in the back of my closet and pulled out my black pea coat styled jacket which was almost as long as my dress itself. My father had bought it for me for Christmas about 3 years ago and I'd worn it maybe 3 times. It fit me nicely and looked pretty good on me but I just always felt overdressed when I'd worn it out with my friends so this was a prime time to get to wear it. I checked the time on my phone which read 6:41PM and 1 unread message from Sid. I clicked it.

"Sid: Tables under my name, just tell them you're here with Sidney. " I smiled a bit and quickly responded. "Perfect, see you soon!" I squirted on some of my best smelling perfume. Then grabbed a small black purse and slipped my phone, cover-up, lip gloss keys and wallet in it then headed to the door.

I slid into my car, luckily I only lived a few blocks away from Luminesce but it was too cold to walk tonight. I touched out the makeup around my eye before and checked the time on the dash, 7:03PM before heading to the door. I glanced through the window before pulling the door open; it looked busy full of well-dressed couples. The lights were dim and each candle was lit by a candle. Romantic to the extreme. I walked up to the waiter standing by the door who was giving everyone crowded by the door who seemed to be waiting for a table to open up a dirty look. "Name?" He said snootily, not even making eye contact. "S-Sidney." I said hesitantly, a little unsure if he'd accept it since I was becoming very aware I didn't have a last name to go under.

Suddenly his head shot up a beaming smile across his lips. "Ahh yes, miss Scotty am I correct? Yes, of course this way. He's been awaiting you." He said in the most superficial sounding voice if ever I'd heard one. He scooted me along, pushing his way past the mini crowd by the door and I heard a women whisper in a hushed voice "Sidney Crosby?!" I frowned to myself as I followed behind the waiter; I wracked at my brain why did that name sound so familiar. Then it hit me and my eyes widened. I wanted to smack myself right in the face. Sure I used to keep up with hockey but lately, well for the past few years I hadn't really. But I knew that name. Oh boy who doesn't know that name? Especially for myself, being born in Canada. He was Canadian pride.

What had I gotten myself into? Was I on a date with Sidney freakin Crosby without knowing it.

I was having a mini panic attack and screaming on the inside as I approached the table suddenly feeling very self-conscious of myself. I heard the waiter say "Here you are, please let me know if I can help either of you with anything." He gushed stepping around me, giving a half bow before scurrying away. My eyes flickered up slowly from my feet to meet the most before chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen in my whole life. He beamed up at me as he rose to his feet to greet me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hehehehe how ironic posting their date on Valentines Day … ;) This is the first part of the date, I'll be uploading the rest soon!**

Oh my God… SPEAK, SAY SOMETHING… ANYTHING. I was in a mental fight with myself as I stood staring at him for what seemed like years… Decades. My mouth was slightly ajar, and my voice was caught in my throat. My heart was ramming, I couldn't even speak as I watched him smoothly side step around the table to pull out my chair like the gentlemen he is- still beaming eat me… God those brown eyes could see right through me into my soul. Somehow I managed to move myself forward feeling very unsure of myself… Kind of in a daze. I was about to plop down on the seat when I heard him chuckle and move slightly behind me. "Take your coat off, stay awhile." He teased and I felt my face flush as I quickly unbuttoned my coat and started to slide out of it as he stood behind me pulling it gently off and hanging it on the coat hook beside the table.

I glanced over my shoulder slightly watching him, once again locking eyes with him momentarily feeling my heart flip. His eyes scanned across my entire self, again making me flush a bit feeling incredibly self-conscious. His mouth flickered a bit, a tiny smiling tugging at his lips. Not in the creepy way. You know the one I mean, the one that random guy at the bar gives you after a bit too much to drink usually followed by a wink or cat call. Or not like the one I had grown ever so familiar with Ryan, that always meant he wanted something from me. No, this was something else. He was looking at me in a way like I'd never been looked at before. At risk of sounding cliché, he was looking at me like I was the only person in the room… No, the only person in the world. Like I was the most precious delicate… Beautiful creature he had ever had the blessing to lay his eyes upon. Like I was doing him a favor by just merely sharing my presence with him.

"Wow, you look… Wow." He said, his big goofy grin still plastered across his face. I smiled weakly over my shoulder at him as I sat down while he pushed my chair in then quickly made his way over to his chair, lowering himself comfortably into it- his eyes still locked on myself.

I tried to look anywhere but at him, my eyes darting around the restaurant at the other pairs of couples leaning over the candle lit tables… Gazing into each other eyes. God dammit this atmosphere wasn't making this any easier on me. My forearms were rested on the edge of the table as I fiddled aimlessly with the napkin, chewing on the inside of my lip.

"Uh… Hello, Earth to Scotty?" The most magnificent voice I'd ever heard brought my attention back to the man sitting across from me who now had a quizzical, but slightly amused look on his face. "Are you alright… You haven't said a word since you've arrived?" He asked chuckling a bit.

My mind raced quickly reliving the past few moments and wanting to smack myself in the face in embarrassment, I hadn't spoken a word yet! I didn't want to speak; I didn't know how to act around him. He was practically a celebrity. What am I? A screwed up junkie in a pretty dress.

"I uh-" I began, great start with a stutter.. "Sorry, this restaurant is just so beautiful…." I trailed off then sighed a bit, might as well get the worst part over with now. "Ok, are you Sidney Crosby?" I said frowning seriously leaning forward placing my elbows on the table and resting my chin on my fist. Ok I know it was ridiculous, but I was going to burst. I needed to get it out. I chewed on the inside of my lip waiting for his reaction. Luckily, he apparently found this all quite amusing.

He chuckled again and nodded slowly. "Yes, yes I am. But uh- you can just call me Sid… You don't have to call me by my full name." He teased, I frowned more though. "You never told me you were Sidney Crosby!" I said in a hushed but half angry sounding whisper, leaning closer to him like we were talking about top secret information. This just seemed to make him more amused because his smile just grew more and he shrugged. "I uh- I didn't think it mattered." He said sweetly, "I play professional hockey… I'm a person." He shrugged. I relaxed my frown and nodded a bit. "Still… It would have been nice to know I was going out with a celebrity I woulda tried harder on looking nicer…" I muttered, more to myself than to him as I leaned back a bit. He laughed again as he poured some of the wine that was on the table beside the candle into the glass in front of me and then himself… I subconsciously tucked my hair behind my ear as I scooted forward taking the cup and beginning to sip at it when I noticed his smile fall to be replaced with a dark stare; I noticed the grip on his glass was extremely tense. I flickered my eyes to meet his; my heart sank as I knew exactly what he was upset about

I untucked my hair quickly letting it fall over my eyes, but it was too late. "What happened?" He asked in an undertone, I could feel his eyes burning into me as I stared down into my wine refusing to make eye contact. In a way, I felt like he already knew… But I did what anybody would do, lie. "Oh, this little thing?" I said waving my hand slightly to brush it off… "I'm super clumsy, get bruises like this all the time-"

"Scot, I play a sport where a huge aspect of it is fighting…" He said interrupting my lie, "You don't think I've seen a black eye from a hit to the face before?" His words hurt me, not because he was saying them darkly… No, in fact he spoke as softly as if he were rocking a baby to sleep. No the hurt me because he knew, and him knowing scared me. I don't know why. "Please, tell me what happened." He almost pleaded reaching his hand across the table and resting it on top of mine. The impact of his skin against mine was like a whole new high I'd never experienced. I never wanted this feeling to go away. It was like his skin was this whole new drug and all it had to do was make contact with me to shoot me out of the sky, and send me spiraling down into feelings I'd never felt before.

I lifted my eyes slowly to meet with his, which were filled with concern and pity… and almost a hint of anger. But not directed at me. I smiled gently at him, I didn't want him to feel like that. I wanted him to smile again; I wanted to see the light in his eyes again. The light that made my heart do backflips. God I wanted to spill my heart out to him, and just climb over this table which seemed like a mile long keeping me away from him and just curl up in his arms and cry into his chest. But, I couldn't.

"Sidney…" I began quietly not sure what to say, I wasn't ready to tell him. Not yet. "If I tell you I'm fine will you drop it… For now." I added noticing him open his mouth to protest. He didn't look happy to drop the subject but I continued speaking before he could. "Look all I want right now is a beautiful date that you promised me. So I promise you if you can give me the night of my life maybe I'll consider filling you in on my …Colorful stories." I ended, trailing off a bit biting my lip again in anticipation for his answer.

I noticed his eyes light up ever so slightly yet again, and he smiled softly at me. "I always keep my promises, I hope you are prepared." He said sounding excited all over again. "But, I really hope you do too. You can trust me Scot, I… I want to, do anything I can for you." He half mumbled, for only my ears to here. I felt my cheeks flush again and he gave my hand a quick squeeze before pulling it back- I was a bit sad at the loss of his touch… Feeling my heart sink- and he lifted up the menu in front of him as the quirky waiter from before returned- still beaming so big a smile I swore his face would stick like that- to take our orders and begin the night.


	5. Chapter 5

I felt like a giddy teenager falling for a boy on the first date all over again but God help me if I could help myself. We spent the whole dinner talking, getting to know more about each other. I was a bit shy at first, trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I have unknowingly landed myself a date with a celebrity. But he made me so comfortable, he felt like home… He made me feel at home. I'd never felt this comfortable with someone before. We talked about our childhoods, swapping funny stories. He told me about his sister and his parents; it made me smile listening to how he talked about them. I could tell how huge of a role in his life they played… But that also made me nervous. What if we became serious? I had never met a boyfriend's parents before.

Long after we had finished our meal, and we were halfway finished a bottle of wine and the candle was melted down to stick- Sid glanced down at his watch. "We need to get going!" He said abruptly, making me pout and frown a bit sad that the date was ending as he glanced around looking for the waiter. His eyes landed on my pout and he smiled, leaning forward putting his hand over mine. "I have more plans for the evening." He said with a wink beckoning the waiter over, who looked like he was going to barrel over the tables to get to Sid.

I hesitantly reached into my purse to pull out my wallet, but Sidney just waved it away pulling out a credit card and handing it to the waiter. "Please, tonight's about you." He said sweetly, flashing me a smile making me flush again.

After he paid and we pulled on our jackets heading out the door I paused on the sidewalk and looked up at him quizzically. "So… Uh- what now?" I asked quirking an eyebrow, shoving my hands into my pockets feeling a brisk breeze pulling a few loose strands of hair to tickle my cheek. He smiled at me then turned and tucked the strands behind my ear, I felt my heart doing backflips as I felt his palm brush against my cheek and I had and instinct to lean my hand into his palm which I fought with all my might. He then pulled my hand out of my pocket and intertwined it with his, "Follow me." He said and began to gently pull me down the sidewalk, opposite direction of the parking lot. "Wait-" I began stopping in my tracks, "My Car-" But he waved it off also stopping momentarily "Here give me your keys." He said extending out one hand and letting go of mine to pull out a cellphone and dial a number quickly pulling the phone up to his ear. I pulled out my keys hesitantly, but he gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'll have my buddy drop it off at your house- I'll give you a ride."

Now I know that sounded sketchy as hell, but believe me. There was almost no way to not trust him, so I dropped my keys in his palm and told him my address and which car was mine. Not much later a dark very expensive looking Mercedes pulled up driven but a very large looking dark haired man and a smaller dark haired man was sitting in the passenger seat. The man in the passenger seat jumped out, he had the biggest smile I'd ever seen. "Hello!" He said excitedly with a thick French accent extending his hand to me. "I'm Marc, Geno." He said nodding his head towards the large boy in the car who waved a hand at me. "Lucky for you we were just down the street picking up a new stick for the big boy." He said with a chuckle. Oh God, it was happening again these were clearly some of Sidney's teammates… It's been an interesting few days. My whole life I've never been even within a few feet of celebrities and here I am being approached by them, one of which is about to drive my car back to my house. Needless to say it was hard to wrap my mind around. I stood there dumbfounded for a moment before Sid laughed "I figured you'd been close, this-"He said resting his hand on the low of my back. "Is Scotty." I could feel his eyes on me as Marc extended his hand out to me. I grinned back at him and grasped it shaking it "Pleasure to meet you- and you." I said with a laugh leaning down a bit to wave at Geno who grinned goofily back at me.

Marc smiled at Sid then cleared his throat, "Well don't let us interrupt you-" He said with a wink to Sidney, "We're just here to escort a car to the lovely lady's home." Sid handed Marc the keys and gave him the address and which car was mine. Then Marc gave each of us a quick hug while whispering in my ear to "Take care of him." Giving me a loving smile, before jogging down the sidewalk in the direction of the parking lot.

I watched him momentarily before I felt Sidney's soft fingers intertwining with mine again, giving me a gentle tug and we began walking down the sidewalk again.

We walked slowly our hands swinging a little between our bodies as we walked. "So, where are we going exactly?" I asked after a few moments of walking in silence. I had to admit, the atmosphere here was pretty damn romantic too. The streets were dimly lit by the round streetlamps lined all the way down the street; many of the shops were closed so the street was fairly empty. The dark sky was dotted beautiful by stars, and there was a light cool breeze drifting through the streets. It was like he had planned for the most perfect, well everything. Weather, atmosphere, lighting, the works.

He smiled his gaze still forward, "You'll see." He said through a grin. I cocked an eyebrow but nodded, "Mysterious." I teased nudging him a bit, "Hopefully not to murder me and dump my body somewhere." He laughed and shook his head. "After the price of that dinner? No way, you're not allowed to kick the bucket all night." He said with a wink, I rolled my eyes and agreed to do my very best to stay alive all night.

Not much later we rounded a corner and now found ourselves on a path through a wide park beside a even larger pond. I noticed him smile and pull me eagerly down the pathway up to the bridge over top of the pond. He stopped midway along the bridge, it was a breathtaking sight. I leaned against the railing taking it all in. The stars were twinkling even brighter than before above the water, which could be heard gently lapping against the Earth where they met liking it was kissing it repeatedly. There were a few trees along the shore side, which were strung with bright twinkling lights- I assumed just for decoration, because they gave the whole park a beautiful glow. Along with a few more lamps lined along the path which sprouted off of the one we took up to the bridge, along the shore side also. It was a little treasure. It was peaceful here. I could stand here and just take in the simple beauty of it all for hours. It was calm and quiet. I closed my eyes as the breeze hit my face again. I was surprised and a little mad at myself for never having discovered this unappreciated beauty before. I could see there was a little garden in between a pair of the trees, which I made a mental note to myself I wanted to come and admire during the day.

"Wow, it's beautiful." I finally breathed after what seemed like ages of comfortable silence. I felt his eyes on me again, and noticed him just simply nod causing my cheeks to burn a little. "I usually come here after a bad game to just- you know, get some inner peace. Not be too hard on myself… " He trailed of shrugging a bit. He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on the croak between my shoulder and neck. My mind and heart were racing upon the impact. This was the closest we'd been yet; I could feel his hard chest against my back and his strong protective arms embracing me. I could smell his amazing cologne which was like heroin to me. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the moment. I knew it wouldn't last, the perfection of feeling his steady breathing in my ear, the warmth of his strong arms around me, the beautiful portrait in front of me. Thinking back on everything in my entire life, if I could only relive one moment forever. That would be it.

His voice low in my ear snapped me back to reality. "It's later…" He whispered straightening up and spinning my gently so my back was now pressed again the railing and I stared up into his chocolate brown eyes. He lifted up a hand using the back of his fingers to brush the hair off of my bruising eye.

God, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him more than anything. But how do I say it? What do I say? I don't want to scare him away; he's the best thing happening to me right now. His life is perfect he's not going to want someone with so much baggage attached to them. He's Sidney Crosby he doesn't have the time to deal with my problems. His life is busy enough and stressful enough as is. God why does he have to keep staring at me with those caring eyes, that perfectly sculpted face. He's just going to make it harder for me when he leaves. I need to tell him. Christ I just need to tell someone. No, I hardly know him… I, I can't?

I argued in my head for what seemed like decades before yet again his voice brought me back to life. "Scot, you don't have to tell me…" He whispered taking my cheeks in his hands. "I just want to help you. I am here for you." That was enough; I spilled my heart out to him and told him everything. Well, not everything. I wasn't ready to give him all my baggage at once, just what happened earlier today with Ryan. I explained about how we weren't officially broken up yet, but I had premeditated it before Sid had even entered my life and how… Well obviously what happened today was just another reason on the long list of reasons for why not to be with Ryan. I hadn't even noticed the tears welling up in my eyes which I fought with all my might, I don't cry. What's happening I don't cry? Especially not in front of other people. I'm stronger than that. I fought them off but one lone tear trickled down my cheek.

When I finally finished I bit down on my lower lip and shut my eyes for a moment to ensure there were still no tears about to escape, before I opened my eyes slowly to meet his terrified of what his reaction would be.

His eyes were filled with pity and he looked absolutely heart broken. He grabbed me and pulled me into a tight embrace and I buried my face into his shoulder closing my eyes, getting high off of the heroin of his scent. "Scotty…" He breathed, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. Please promise me you'll be done with him. I can't bear to see this happen to you." He whispered to me. I just simply nodded and I felt his squeeze tighten on me, not uncomfortably just so I could feel his sympathy. "I promise." I said in a small voice. I felt like a tiny little weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Just standing here in this embrace, feeling that someone was worried about me. That someone actually cared and was concerned was a remarkable feeling. His scent was filling me causing my heart to do backflips, and his warm arms around me made me feel safer than anything in the world. Like he had created this barrier around me, that nothing could hurt me and no sadness or evil could touch my soul again.

For once everything seemed to be in place. Like I had been working on a puzzle and I had been trying to fit two pieces together that didn't fit, and I finally turned the piece so it snuggled together perfectly.


	6. Chapter 6

After what seemed like forever, but at the same time seemed momentarily we drew a part from each other's embracement. I looked down at my shoes for a moment before letting my eyes slowly flicker up to be engulfed by his large chocolate ones. I gazed into his feeling as though his eyes were a black hole just sucking me in, his lips were parted ever so slightly. I wanted to reach my hand out and touch his face to make sure he was real. God I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to kiss him more than I wanted to even breathe. I could feel myself bringing myself closer to him, about to close to gap between us.

But just as quickly as it came the moment ended with a loud ringing from my clutch.

I groaned, and rolled back onto my heels leaning back against the railing as I dug through my purse to pull out my phone. I heard Sid chuckle as his ran his fingers threw his hair. I finally pulled out my phone and saw "Ry Calling" in big letters which made my heart sink. I ended the call quickly and shoved it back in my purse before Sid could see who was calling. "No one important." I said smiling reassuringly at him as he cocked an eyebrow curiously at me.

I shivered as the breeze hit my back, apparently it was getting a lot colder and the thin material of my dress and jacket combined with my exposed leg skin wasn't the greatest attire for warmth. Like a gentlemen he immediately slipped out of his jacket and slid me into it ignoring my protests about how cold he'd now be. He glanced down at his watch at his eyes widen. "I should get you home, I hadn't realized how late it was!" He exclaimed, I checked the time on my phone 12:01AM. Time had gone by so fast it seemed like we had only been together moments, I didn't want to leave him yet. But I begrudgingly took the hand he extended out to me, intertwining out fingers and began to leave the most beautiful spot in the whole world. The spot I would forever associate with my ever growing infatuation with Sidney Crosby.

Our hands swung gently between us as we walked. "So, good date or bad?" He asked after a few minutes of walking in silence, turning his head to look at me with a big grin on his face. "Hm, pretty good I'd say." I couldn't help the smile that grew across my lips, but I avoided making eye contact. "Good enough for… Maybe another one?" He asked cautiously, tilting his head a little more so he could see my face better as I avoided looking at him. I tapped my chin as I pretended to be deep in thought "Hmm… Well, maybe… Tell me what you have in mind wonder boy and I'll think about." I teased turning my head to face him, quirking my eyebrow.

I didn't think it was possible but his smile grew even more across that perfectly sculpted face. I could tell I had put him on the spot and I loved watching him wracking his brain trying to think of something that sounded impressive. "We, could… We could…" He stuttered using his free hand to run his fingers through his hair. I laughed and decided to put him out of his misery. "How about… Tomorrow we can go to the rink, I can show you up at hockey and then we can get coffee after? Unless you're busy…" I asked hesitantly, remembering his schedules defiantly busier than mine. He chuckled and shook his head as we made our way down the side walk, I could see the "Luminesce" sign in the near distance. "Nope, I'm all yours tomorrow. Shall I pick you up at… Let's say 11:30?" "Oh driving me home tonight _and_ picking me up tomorrow? How chivalrous of you." I teased nudging him a bit, and winking at him but nodding. "Yes that sounds perfect." He laughed and nudged me back, "You haven't seen anything, I may even open the car door for you." I laughed and placed my hand over my heart faking a heart attack. "The horror."

A few moments later we found ourselves in the parking lot of Luminesce; there was only one car left. It looked similar to the one Sid's teammates had pulled up in… But shinier and more expensive. It kind of looked like the Bat mobile. I don't know, I don't really know cars. So if you're picturing it, just picture the Bat mobile.

"Whoa" I breathed with a low whistle. "I guess that whole _celebrity_ thing pays off huh?" I teased winking at him. He rolled his eyes and pulled me gently towards the car. "It has its benefits." He said shrugging it off, then opened the passenger door stepping aside for me to pass through with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. "My lady." I laughed and did a fake curtsey as I stepped passed him hearing him laugh as he shut the door behind me.

I examined the interior of the Bat mobile as I adjusted myself on the leather seat. I don't really know how to describe it other than the Bat mobile! It had a lot of buttons, and looked very clean. Almost brand new. I watched him jog around the front of the car and open the driver's door.

The car was lit by a bright blue glow when he turned the car on; the entire dashboard was lined with blue lights. It was incredible, made my car look like a piece of crap that's for sure though. He drove quickly and his car made a silent hum as he sped through the empty streets. I watched him as he drove, is there anything more attractive than a man when he's driving? Maybe I was just letting my hormones get the best of me.

"You know, it's hard to focus on the road when I can feel your eyes burning holes into the side of my head…" He smirked; I jumped and turned my focus to the road a head feeling my cheeks burning a little bit. "Sorry…" I mumbled and he just laughed and rested a hand on my knee. It was hard for me to believe this was our first date. I felt like I've known him for years, like he was a part of me. A part of me I don't know how I went so long without. He was like home. Is it possible for a person to home, not a place? I guess it was.

I was suddenly disappointed at how close I lived to the restaurant contrary to how lucky I felt earlier this evening. Before long I was showing him where to turn into the parking lot of my building. I turned to say goodbye to him but he shook his head silencing me, leaving me confused as he jumped out of the car. He jogged around to my door again opening it for me and extending his hand to mine. "I'll walk you to the door." He said grinning down at me. I felt a smiling tugging at the corner of my lips as I slipped my hand into his.

When we finally reached the door which led to the stairwell, despite my efforts to walk as slowly as possible. He turned to face me, mirroring one another's smile. I wanted to feel his lips against mine; I wanted to close the gap in between us that felt miles long. I could feel my breaths getting sharp and my heart was going a mile a minute. My palms were sweaty, I felt like I was back in middle school. Playing Truth or Dare and you're dared to kiss your crush. Those moments before your lips touch are greater than the actual kiss itself. That's the moment you remember. The one where your faces are coming closer, you can feel their breath on your lips. The space between you is growing smaller. The anticipation of what's coming next is the real magic.

But here we are again, just like last time our moment was cut short. He pulled me into a quick embrace and planted a small kiss on my forehead and whispered. "See you tomorrow morning." Before his presence was gone. I watched as he drove away, feeling like he was taking my heart with him. The further he got the more I felt my heart sinking, before finally he was out of sight. I sighed and climbed the stairs to my apartment ready for bed.


	7. Chapter 7- Background

_This chapter is going to be from Scotty's perspective still by the way. This chapter's kinda dark too sooooo prepare yourself :/ sorry I wanted to give this story so __**umf**_

I guess maybe I should take some time to tell you a bit about myself. I mean sure you already know part of my story. The part after I hit rock bottom. The part where my life started to turn for the better. So now I'll give you a glimpse into how I got there. This chapter isn't really that important, it won't make a huge difference if you skip over this one. It's just giving you some more insight to me.

First off, my name, my _full_ name is actually Charlotte Scotty Victoria Winchester the II. That's a mouthful huh? For a while I used to just go by Charlie because I thought Charlotte sounds too long to say, and to be honest I loved it. Until in middle school there was a boy in my class named Charlie and no girl wants to share the name of a boy. Especially not in middle school, kids can be so traumatizing. So now I just go by my middle name, Scotty.

My family seems to enjoy recycling impossibly long names. For example we already know one of my brothers -Declan's full name is Declan Nigel James Winchester the III. We sound like prissy old British Lords, but nope. We're just your average Canadian family. Oh there's another fun fact, I'm Canadian. Born and raised in quite possibly the smallest town in the outskirts of Hamilton, who somehow managed to find her way to Pittsburgh following the path of her brother.

I have 3 other older brothers- Michael, Patrick and Jonathon. Of course growing up I grew to know them as Mikey, Patty, Jonny and Decky. Inventive right?

Growing up the youngest and only girl of four older, protective brothers wasn't easy. Especially when you mother's a drunk and your father gets a kick out of beating the crap out of you and her until your brothers come to your rescue and the attention is turned to them. So I guess you could say growing up in this family as well as playing a contact sport for 10years, I'm used to having cuts and bruises.

As well as that, my first real boyfriend was a real piece of work. I guess it's true you do date your parents because he turned out to be just like my dad. He liked to beat the crap out of me if I wouldn't give him what he wanted. In the end he would usually just take what he wanted from me anyways- whether I was willing to give it to him or not. Looking at my relationship history I have a keen eye for picking some good ones don't I? It took me 16 years for me to realize, I shouldn't have to be _used_ to have black eyes. I shouldn't have to be _used_ to having sex be something that's taken from me whenever my partner wants it, not when I want to give it. I shouldn't have to be _used_ to my Friday night being going to pick up my drunken mother from the local bar because she's too drunk to take care of herself. I shouldn't be _used_ to watching Jonny and Mikey going down the same path as my father- instead of jumping into save me, being the ones getting more and more aggressive and physical with me.

I guess Declan felt he had enough of this life too. I'll never forget the day he left. It was a week before my 17th birthday, him and Patty were the only ones in my family that were keeping me sane. Keeping me alive. When he got the call from University of Pittsburgh for a football scholarship I felt my entire life taking a 360. Without him here I knew things were going to get so much worse, he was the third eldest and first to leave. My father owned a gas station/corner store and we were all expected to stay and help him run it and eventually take over it- as well as help him with the farm. So when Declan left that was one less pair of hands, so everyone was going to be more on edge and tired. So who was going to get the backlash of that? You got it. The family's fucking punching bag.

Sure I still had Patty, but Declan even though he was the third eldest; he was the 2nd biggest in the family. He was 6'3 and extremely built from years of football, hockey and farm work. Patty was 6'0 and not quite as built. He still tried to look out for me, but I didn't expect him to be able to do as much. Declan and I were much closer- he was always looking out for me whether it be within the family or out. So as soon as I graduated I applied for University in Pittsburgh and got in with honors, so I packed my bags and headed out of here. I'll never forget how happy Declan was that I was out of there and back to being within his watchful eyes.

But I guess even the strongest people are damaged. I grew up mentally teaching myself not to cry, that tears were a sign of weakness or if you cry that means you're upset- and if you don't cry then you're fine. So since I never cried, I had trained myself into believing I was fine. God, what a stubborn little shit I was.

It wasn't long after that I met Ryan, and here is where I really spiraled. I showed him about the dark parts of my life, and he showed me how to cope with them. The time I was with Ryan all just blends together into a blur of too many drugs, sex and stupidity. I'm surprised nothing had happened to me while I was with him sooner to be honest. He used to get me so drugged up I couldn't even remember who I was. I had tagged along with him for many of his "business meetings" …and seen many people getting jumped by him and his "associates" if they couldn't meet his requirements. I'd also spent many nights bandaging him up after he'd gotten tough around someone tougher. He hung out with scumbags who gave me the creeps, I don't know why I stayed with him for as long as I did.

During my time with Ryan I had found myself distancing myself from Declan. He came to my apartment one morning at around 8am, I was high and fucked up from the night before and I remember him pleading to me that I was better than this and I was going to kill myself. I remember telling him to leave because I don't have the patience to think before noon. That was one of the last times I talked to him until recently.

So that's catching you up on the basics of my life until now, I tried to avoid going immensely into detail because it's gruesome and dark at some points but now you have it.

Oh I guess I should tell you what I look like.

I don't really think I'm anything special to be honest; I'm average height with average build. Nothing about me makes me stand out. I have long chocolate brown wavy hair that falls probably midway to my back, matched with chocolate brown eyes. I guess the only thing really unique about me is my dimples that I have hated since birth.

So as you can tell, my personalities pretty guarded. I don't like trusting people; it's hard for me as it is for anyone. I have issues with letting people in because my track record goes to show I'm not good at picking the right people. Even growing up I didn't have a lot of friends. I'm stubborn as all Hell, but I'm working on getting out of my habits. But old habits die hard, so I guess we'll see how it goes.


End file.
